Time to take care of yourself
TL;DR
There's a lot of anxiety, confusion and fear in the aftermath of the election, but it's of absolute importance that we truly take care of ourselves right now.
By finding clarity beyond the fear, we’ll be better equipped to move forward in ways that feel right to each of us.
Let's just start with the obvious: last week was a tumultuous one.
In the aftermath, I've felt deep sadness, frustration, anger, and fear (particularly when it comes to thinking of the results in the context of my young daughters).
So, where do we go from here?
How do we deal with everything that's going on around us?
The answer, of course, is that we have to find ways to move forward.
For me, that means focusing on what's in my control right now...taking care of the people and communities I can support. Listening more than talking. Holding space for all the feelings. Leaning into the uncertainty of this moment and knowing it's not forever.
At this point, there's been a lot written about the election and the current state of our society (that's an understatement...), and while that's great from an intellectual POV, it's difficult to actually "do" anything with all of the commentary floating through our heads. I think that what people are really searching for right now is tangibility. I know I am.
In that spirit, I'd like to offer you some practical tips that are PROACTIVE rather than REACTIVE — small-scale actions that will not only give you a sense of control over some part of your life, but will hopefully empower you with the feeling that positive change is still very much possible. Let’s get to it.
UNPLUG, JUST A LITTLE… YOU’LL BE FINE… REALLY
You don't need me to tell you that we live in a media-saturated world.
Like the last couple of elections, we've had wall-to-wall coverage of this campaign season seeping into every area of our lives via our TVs, computers, and phones — it felt impossible to get away from it. After last week's outcome, that barrage hasn't lessened a bit and I think we're all feeling shell-shocked because of it.
While you can’t (and shouldn’t) hide from everything 100% of the time, you are ultimately in control of what you are exposed to.
You don’t have to watch the kinds of television programs that traffic in post-election analysis, nor do you have to visit the websites and blogs that are filling their posts with doom and gloom.
You can keep a low profile on social media. You can read the headlines on your way to other news, but you do not have to click on every election-centric article.
Will this be difficult for some of you? Yes. But can it be done? Absolutely.
Set limits. Put your phone in the other room if you don't need it. Engage with the world around you. Go on a walk if you get antsy. Call a friend (yes, in real time on the phone...).
Remember, the amount of social media you expose yourself to is IN your control. So, set up accountability if you need to with a friend and take control of it.
WATCH YOUR FEAR
One of the major impacts that this election has had on people is conjuring up some serious anxiety over the future.
This is completely understandable, as we're talking about the kinds of things that have ramifications across our entire society, now and into the future. For 50% of the country, those ramifications feel necessary and welcome; to the other half, they feel downright dangerous — we've never been more divided.
If you fall into the latter group, the future likely seems bleak, and that can conjure up all kinds of inner critics, particularly in the form of FEAR. When we're talking about things like racism, inequality, women's rights, LGBTQ+ rights, gun control and climate change, we're talking about things that scare a lot of people in terms of the direction that we're headed in.
I originally bought this for my daughter, but this week it's on my bookshelf, in perfect view as I coach.
I'll give it back to her soon; for now, I'm the one who needs it.
Given what we're facing as we move forward, I think it's absolutely important to understand and respect any fear that you may be feeling. And then, I want you to watch it. Observe it. Get curious about it. But, it's crucial that you don't give in to that fear or allow yourself to take action in the name of it.
For some of you, just being mindful and identifying fear when it strikes will be enough to tame it. For others, you may need more help. First and foremost, talk to someone close to you. Share how you are feeling. Don't sit in your feelings alone. This is an important time to ask for help and get outside support. We've got a lot of good blog posts on how to deal with Inner Critics, so make sure you check them out.
TAKE CONTROL BY TAKING ACTION
Technically, the first two tips above are forms of action. But, let's talk about how to focus your life on a daily basis with a Daily Action Plan.
The idea here is simple: Decision-making takes up valuable brain power — which we now know is finite — so the less decisions we give ourselves to make throughout the day with regards to our schedule, the more additional energy we will have for the things that matter.
With that in mind, try this:
Pick 1-3 priorities for your day (any more than that can feel overwhelming and divert your attention your focus). The point of identifying these priorities is that you commit to doing them regardless of all of the things that may come your way (emails, needs of other people, last minute plans, etc…), so you can be intentional rather than reactionary.
Time out how long you anticipate it will take you to complete these priorities and schedule them into your day — literally enter them into whatever calendar you use for your daily schedule, whether your phone, your computer, or a good old fashioned daily planning book.
Honor these scheduled priorities. No, seriously — honor them.
Fun Fact: This was inspired by Benjamin Franklin's actual daily schedule, shown here.
The mindfulness involved in identifying/scheduling your priorities and the satisfaction of having completed them create a sense of control that is truly empowering.
It may seem like such a small thing, but the result (especially on a continuing basis) can have a major impact on your daily life, both from a productivity POV and a mental/emotional POV.
I know that these tips don't address the nation's ills, that's not what this is about.
We’ve got a lot of work ahead of us and I truly believe that there’s a part for all of us to play in our country’s future narrative. But, we also have a lot of personal scars to heal, and I think it’s of absolute importance that we truly take care of ourselves. Only you know what this means for you.
So, listen up when your body tells you to slow down. And, equally, pay attention when the message inside of you is to get active and fight for the causes you believe in.
By getting to a place of clarity, beyond the fear, we’ll all be in a better position to create the change that we desire not only in this nation, but in our lives as well.