Less & More #3: Less Judgement & More Acceptance
TL;DR
Less & More #3: Less Judgement & More Acceptance
Spending time in judgment — critiquing ourselves or things that are out of our control — is just distracting us from what it is we truly want.
Trust that where you are in this moment is exactly where you need to be to prepare you for what’s next.
Week three of our More or Less Challenge has us examining Judgement and Acceptance.
Truth bomb: There is room for us to both accept where we are currently AND put energy toward where we want to go.
Carl Rogers has a great quote, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” Acceptance is actually the precursor to making this shift — not the other way around.
When we find ourselves in self-judgment about something — our careers, our bodies, our circumstances — it is usually because we find some portion of it “unacceptable” to us.
In reality, spending time in judgment — critiquing ourselves or things that are out of our control — is just distracting us from what it is we truly want.
If you’ve ever coached with me, this should sound familiar to you: practicing acceptance means not wishing for anything to be different. No, seriously. It's about trusting that where we are in this moment is exactly where we need to be to prepare us for what’s next.
So let’s get into action with this concept.
ACTION OF THE WEEK: When you find yourself in judgment — whether it be self-judgment or judgment of someone else — I challenge you to MAKE A LIST.
Start by writing down three self-judgments that you are willing to let go of.
For example:
I am willing to let go of the fact that I didn’t finish cleaning my room.
I am willing to let go of the fact that I have allergies.
I am willing to let go of the fact that I had to ask a family member for a loan.
Next, write down three judgments about someone else that you are willing to let go of.
For example:
I am willing to let go of the fact that my partner doesn’t put the dishes away the way I like.
I am willing to let go of the fact that my writing partner isn’t getting back to me quickly enough.
I am willing to let go of the fact that my kids have been impatient with me.
Finally, write down three things you are ready to accept.
For example:
I accept that this strong body of mine is carrying me through a difficult time.
I accept that I have more debt and less income than I am used to.
I accept that the project I’ve been working on will take longer to complete than I’d hoped.
The point of articulating these judgements/acceptances and writing them down is to help you become aware of just how harsh we can be with ourselves (and others) without even realizing it. The weight of carrying around these judgements can be immense and it can really impede our progress in our lives and careers.
By being more sensitive to how and when you become judgmental, you can begin to counteract it with acceptance, and, in doing so, free yourself up to become the person you want to be.